A Day(ish) in the Life of Komaeda
by CoolyCakeCove
Summary: Follow along with the most (un)luckiest boy in all of Japan in a trip of his life.
**I was watching NicoB's play through of Super Dangan Ronpa, and found an awesome comment that this one-shot parody is based on! Enjoy!**

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 **A Day In the Life of Nagito Komaeda!**

Written by: Nagito Komaeda

Edited by: Hajime Hinata

Published by: Chiaki Nanami

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Today, starts off like any other day! I wake up at seven to prepare for school that starts at nine o'clock. It was so that my luck-if it so chose to mess with me-wouldn't hinder my ability to go to the best school in the world! However, this morning was filled with bad luck! My good luck was my shower immediately pouring down with hot water, saving me waiting time, but the bad luck was my toast getting burned! I suppose I can always eat cereal without toast, but I definitely need my toaster working to create bagels.

And it is currently on fire. Not making bagels.

Ah, there is no need to panic. I'll just find a fire extinguisher-like the one in the pantry closet. I put out the fire, but now my toaster is ruined and there will be no bagels for this morning. This morning's fiasco lasted until eight o'clock, meaning I need to get out of the house now if I want to catch the bus!

...And I miss the bus. I guess I'll walk today. The trees are taller than when I last remembered, the birds are chirping and flying around-luckily the birds don't harm me as I walk under them. I love animals-I even had a dog-but my luck doesn't like anything I like.

Sometime after walking, a nice man in a car asks me where I'm going. And I reply with: I'm going to school, because I have no family to drive me to it. He then kindly offers me a free ride to school!

After driving for a few minutes, it becomes obvious this nice man is not taking me to school!

...School started an hour ago. It's ten o'clock, and we've reached the location the man takes us to. It seems to be a warehouse with many kids just like me, only with varying degrees of mental stability and hygiene! I ask what's the reason they want us, and it is because they want to sell our organs on the black market.

How guilty I feel for not being competent enough to give my organs to hope...

I tell the men that I'm mortally ill and give them my medical record. The kind man who delivered me here is shot for incompetence.

Another hour later. I can't leave because I'm told I know too much. I tried to bargain other ways, tried to find ways to get them the organs they need for hope! Unfortunately, they did not take me seriously and stuffed me and another person in a closet. A closet for the more "difficult ones."

Not too long after my dark and dusty stay, I hear shooting. It seems, the girl says, a rival gang is shooting up the place! Throughout the shooting, I decide to comfort the girl by proclaiming hope!

Me: So it's okay if we die today! We're dying for incorruptible good! We're the stepping stones of hope-all of us untalented, worthless swines!

Girl: ...

Me: Do you see it too? Do you think I may die today? Although I wish it isn't in here or a quick shot to the head. That would be boring, right? Right?

Girl: ...

Me: I think you see it too, and are stunned speechless!

I think we are bonding a lot in this closet of hope!

Around one o'clock, the shooting stops. It seems the kind man's team lost and are eliminating the witnesses. When they find us, I see they are from the Kuzuryuu clan. I explain to them I'm a classmate of his and I just want to go to school. They agree to help me out!

Unfortunately, they shoot my new girlfriend. Such despair.

I arrive at school at two o'clock. Those mafia guys were such a nice bunch! I'll be sure to tell Fuyuhiko and his sister about them.

When leaving for home that next hour, I encounter a fellow lucky student Makoto Naegi! I wonder what his luck is! I believe we can become best friends! Ah, wait, that's selfish of me...to force such a hope to spend time with a worthless me.

Naegi didn't seem to mind (how kind of you!) and we decide to go get a drink from the upstairs vending machine. With all of the bad luck of this morning, this act greatly compensates for it!

...It seems I spoke too soon. When I purchased my drink, the vending machine exploded and fell through the floor and carried us along with it. It also happen to fall in the woman's shower room. Needless to say, the currently changing woman were surprised, to say the least.

Between the fussing and flying objects aimed at us, I meet a girl Junko Enoshima, who was amused by the despair of the situation. To honor our meeting, she gave me a stuffed bear.

Boy was today eventful, I think when I get home. Surely Nanami-san and Hinata-kun would enjoy listening to this story! I put the bear in the living room and went to my room to do some homework. When I got hungry, I headed for the kitchen-but how weird! I find the bear cooking and cleaning my kitchen. I put it back in the living room.

Since today was very stressful, I decide to take a bath.

...Whoops, I fell asleep for who knows how long?

When I got out the tub, I find a dead burglar on the living room floor with the bear standing on top of him.

What a strange bear.

I call the cops. It was a lot of fuss and interrogation of me and nearby neighbors, not to mention the forensics experts, but it's determined that the man slipped on a banana peel and died. Weird...I never ate any banana.

When my house is finally cleared up, I decide to give the bear to my neighbors. It seems to bring good luck, and someone like me has no right of keeping it. I go to bed soon afterwards at eleven o'clock.

I start dreaming of hope and bagels...

Awakened by a scream. Turns out neighbors are dead and the bear is gone. Whoops.

I call the cops again. They suspect me and take me in for questioning. It's not until three AM when I'm released, when a witness says they saw a plushie covered in blood, running. How lucky!

I have to call Junko to bail me out.

Me: Hello, Enoshima-san!

Her: What. What are you doing calling me at three.

Me: Oh, that monochrome bear you gave me, killed my neighbors, got me suspected, but someone saw the bear, and now I need someone to get me out. I don't have a family, so...

Her: Kyahahaha! Hell yeah-that's amazing!

Me: Hahahahaha-this day has certainly been amazing!

Afterwards, when she comes by to get me, she drops me off at a bagel store!

As I start my trek home, the sun slowly starts turning the night sky light blue. I'm definitely going to tell Nanami-san and Hinata-kun about my wonderful day when I see them tomorrow! Or today, I mean.

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Here's the comment that I made this story on (it's long!):

Jean-Philippe Janssens

A day in the life of Nagito Komaeda. 7 AM : Woke up, ate Bagels for breakfast. Today will be filled with HOPE! 8 AM : Missed the bus to school, but luckily I met a nice man who is giving me a lift. 9 AM : Nice man was actually kidnapped me. I wonder what he wants with me. 10 AM : Arrived at secret underground evil lair, apparently they want to steal my organs to sell on the black market. I told them I'm mortally ill and my organs are therefore useless for them and showed my medical record as proof. Dude who kidnapped me got shot for incompetence. Sucker. 11 AM : While wondering what to do with me, a rival gang is attacking the place. I'm hiding inside a closet with another prisoner, a very pretty girl. 12 PM : Showed girl in question how to never lose hope. hehehehe Shooting is still ongoing. 1 PM : Shooting is over, rival gang won and is eliminating all witnessess. Turns out it's the Kuzuryuu clan. Told them I'm a classmate of Fuyuhiko so they spared me. They shot my new girlfriend though, such despair. 2 PM : Mafia guys drove me to school. What a nice bunch! I'll put a good word for them with Fuyuhiko. 3 PM : I came across a freshman in the halls of the school, his name is Makoto Naegi. Turns out he's got the same talent as me! I hope we get along. Also I wonder what 2 Ultimate Lucksters combined can do! 4 PM : Went to grab a drink with Makoto. Vending machine malfuntionned and exploded, causing the floor to collapse. We ended falling through the floor below, the women' shower. Hilarity ensues.5 PM : Met Junko Enoshima in the shower. She found the situation desperate and was bizarly pleased. She gave me a stuffed bear as commemoration of our meeting. 6 PM : Went back home, today was pretty eventfull. Installed that bear in the living room. 7 PM : Weird, found the bear in the kitchen while preparing dinner. Put him back where he belongs. 8 PM : Bathing time! Let's relax a bit. 9 PM : Fell asleep in my bathtub, silly me. When I woke up and went back to the living room I found a dead burglar on the floor and that bear standing on him. What a loser. 10 PM : Called the cops, they determined burglar slipped on a banana. Weird, I didn't eat any banana. I thought the Bear winked at me for a second. 11 PM : Gave Bear to neighbour's daughter. It seems to bring good luck. Tired, going to sleep.12 AM : Dreaming of Hope Bagels. 1 AM : Got woken up by a scream, neigbours are all dead. Bear disappeared. Whoops. 2 AM : Called cops again, they suspect me. 3 AM : Got proven innocent thanks to a lucky bypassing witness who claimed saw a running plushie full of blood. 4 AM : Got released, called Junko, she was pretty desperate to be woken up at 4 am but who cares. Explained the situation. She laughed. Me too. 5 AM : Got kidnapped by aliens on the way home. I don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing yet. 6AM : Aliens are studying human behaviour. I'm assigned to react to Let's Plays. They were kind enough to let me watch NicoB. Sweet


End file.
